Blood
by vodkaquiet
Summary: Shinji x Asuka - Blood runs through your veins, / that's where our similarity ends


Shinji held her hand when she was still and imprisoned by white. She had such small pretty hands and when they shook all he could do was hold on tighter, sometimes too tight, and press little kisses to her white knuckles.

"Shinji-" Asuka whispered. He bowed his head to a God that was as dead and lost as the rest of them and listened closer, but she only ever said his name once. Did she dream of him? No. He was being stupid, as usual.

"Wake up, yell at me. Please."

"Please."

The wailing of machines invaded their silence. Her life went up and down and down - plump nurses rushed in and he raced out - _fuck_ he was running away, again, (it was what he did; it was what **cowards **did). He kept running.

_The train howled like a wild animal aching for its lost lover._

_The light of his dreams illuminated her._

_"You should go back." Rei said. Her voice was soft - comforting - he longed to touch her and be touched by her, but he was afraid (as usual). "Be with her."_

_"She doesn't need me."_

_"No, but you always knew that."_

Shinji stopped running _only _because his heart was pounding and his sides were splitting. He dragged his feet down the hospital hall. The screaming of his heart (it wanted out of his chest) was almost louder than the ghosts chasing him. He could see the exit sign ahead.

The day was only beginning. Many colors danced for his attention. In the end blue won. Blue always won. And green. Those were his two favorite colors and he painted the world with them. At the sound of children laughing a cluster of birds startled and took flight - no, there were no birds and the sky and the ocean were no longer blue. It was fire and blood as far as he could see and the dirt on their knees.

Shinji crumpled up the picture and threw it in the waste basket that was filled almost to the brim with Styrofoam cups of bad coffee - though no matter the taste he had drained them of every drop - and takeaway, "You should eat." Misato said. "Look at me, Shinji. You **need **to keep your strength up." He didn't eat.

_Stay awake. Stay awake!_ He told himself. Asuka could open her eyes any minute. They, the doctors with their bone fingers and swooshing coat and the nurses with their round faces and sharp teeth - even Misato and Ritsuko (her red, red lips closing on the cigarette...he swallowed thickly) told him she could hear **everything **he said. She had to be getting pretty annoyed by now, his desperate voice clawing through the barrier that kept her from him.

"I wish I had wings." Shinji said, "Like an angel-"

Asuka shot daggers at him - looks _could_kill and no one killed him quite like she did. He drowned and drowned again in the raging oceans of her eyes and washed up on the shores of her milky skin with a smile on his face.

"It used to mean more."

"Like Rei...?" Asuka asked almost hesitantly.

Shinji just nodded.

"Hm-" She mused, smiling a bit, "If you had wings and I pushed you and you fell, you would live - I think."

"What?"

"Maybe you already have wings, you just can't see them. Want to try it?"

"What, you pushing me off a building, n-no,"

"This is stupid." (Her smile was gone.)

"You want wings too, don't you?"

"Of course not, that's stu-"

"Stupid, I know." He interrupted. "We could fly together."

Shinji was her drum and she beat him hard. They never made music only noise.

Asuka shoved him (_back, back, get back_) and pounded her fists (her beautiful hands, clenched and swollen) on his chest - this was war, fought for cheap reasons and cheaper blood being spilt generously. The kitchen floor was positively alive with it. He grabbed her wrists and pushed her back knowing full bloody well that he would never be declared the winner and that tomorrow would take her farther away from him.

Asuka jerked her head up and stared valiantly into his eyes. Every trace of kid had left them. He kissed her, his first "real" kiss. It was strange. He did it again and again, testing (mostly her patience). He lifted her up onto the kitchen counter where she had prepared dinner last night - little cuts still adorned her slim fingers - and pushed her dress up: for a moment, a very small moment, she was his and he hers.

"What do you think happens to us when we die?" Shinji asked when the sun had disappeared from the sky and they were safe (and warm) under a blanket or at least she was. After their long and tiring game of tug of war he had _let _her have it.

Asuka rolled over to face him. She was quiet for a while before - "Nothing."

Shinji sighed contently.

Waves - the brightest blue and the loudest thunder (his ears were ringing), but through it he looked for her - crashed over their bodies. He felt cold. It was strange really...he always thought it would hurt more. From the clouds they waved goodbye.


End file.
